


One damn kiss

by 3cheers4sweet_romance



Series: Onstage kisses and big realization moments [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angsty Frank Iero, Boys Kissing, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Gerard, On stage kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 16:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4107267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3cheers4sweet_romance/pseuds/3cheers4sweet_romance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The same old story: boy kisses boy on stage, followed by big realization moments and love confessions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One damn kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This may be not the most original, but onstage kisses are basically the reason why I'm into bandom now and I suspect that it's the same for some of you, besides I've been feeling a little nostalgic lately, you know, remembering the old times and, well, I just hope you enjoy reading this story :)

Frank had been staring at Gerard all night, not casual glances, not lingering looks, but actually staring at him in what he was pretty sure was a stalkerish way, but he couldn't help himself. Frank was feeling really fucking confused, so all he could do was watching Gerard carefully, waiting for him to say or do something that will make him understand what the fuck changed.

Earlier that evening, they had been onstage playing _Prison_. It was one of the last songs on their list and Gerard was on. He declared on several occasions that _You know what they do to guys like us in prison_ is his favorite song to play live. He never admitted why, but Frank guessed that it was because he got to be shamelessly campy while they were playing that particular song.

Wearing feather boas, mimicking blow jobs and making obscene sex noises are not things that a shy, kind of awkward guy gets to do in his everyday life; onstage things are totally different. Frank knew this because he got the same feeling.

Onstage, between the roar of the crowd and the frenzy of the music, you're allowed (and sometimes encouraged) to do crazy things like throwing yourself into a drum kit, or kicking the lead singer in the balls for no reason, or grabbing the bass player by the ankle, drag him down to the floor and spin his body around; crazy shit like that.

That night, though, that night Gerard did something that took Frank completely aback: he kissed him.

It was right after the bridge when Frank noticed Gerard getting closer. The other man stood there, a couple of feet away from him and leaned in, but Frank didn't looked up, he was busy playing, moving from side to side of the stage, banging his head rhythmically; all his attention focused on the notes coming out of his guitar and the movement of his fingers on the strings. Gerard walked away at that, but turned on his heals immediately and came back with a wicked grin.

This time Frank did pay attention, not because he wanted to, but because Gerard made him.

All of the sudden, Gerard's long fingers threaded through Frank's bangs, tugging his hair it back and tilting his head up with the force of it. Frank only had a fraction of a second to glance at the other man's face before Gerard was pressing their lips together, hard.

Frank kissed back, he didn't even think about it, didn't consider all the reasons why not to, just leaned into him pliant, as if Gerard's body was a magnet and his own was made of supple tin.

After the initial shock, Frank's hands dropped the guitar and went up, finding a place around Gerard's waist, holding him closer.

Frank's mouth opened at Gerard's cue and he tasted a faint combination of mint and coffee as their tongues met, and for the briefest, most intense moment, he didn't breathe, just let himself sink completely into the kiss until Gerard pushed him back a couple of seconds later.

It wasn't hard for Frank to channel the high-strung energy that took over his body after that. By the end of the show, his fingers and his wrists ached, he had an awful kink in his neck and his throat was sore and scratchy from the furious yelling that he had been doing into the mic.

Throwing himself around and yelling his lungs out on stage was an effective distraction too, but once that it was over, once that it was only the five of them – plus the driver – sitting in the quiet dimness of the van that was taking the band to the hotel, Frank couldn't make himself focus on anything else, he just couldn't stop thinking about that damn kiss.

Half an hour earlier they had been messing around in some park that they came across on their way out of the venue. It was late and they were tired, but they really didn't want to go straight to the hotel; they hadn't spent much time in places that weren't airports or hotels or venues a very long time, so they convinced Brian to let them be outdoors at least for a little while.

It was about to rain or it had been raining somewhere near, Frank wasn't sure, but the sky was cloudy and he could detect a distinct earthy smell that came with the crisp late night breeze. The park was empty and usually Frank would have taken advantage of that; he would have climbed on Bob's back and demanded him to take him to the jungle gym immediately. This time, though, Frank went quietly to one of the benches and sat there by himself.

He took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one out as he watched Gerard and Mikey getting on the swings. The very first drag didn't feel as satisfying as it usually did; Frank frowned a little at that, but then the sound of giggles made him look up and fix his gaze on Gerard again. The other man was laughing at something that Ray and Bob were doing over the monkey bars.

Frank smiled to himself. He really liked the sound of Gerard's silly laughter and the way that his whole face seemed to be lit up when he was happy. After a moment, Frank's eyes went down and he noticed the way that Gerard's hands were clenched tightly around the hanging chains of the swing.

A little gasp escaped Frank's mouth the moment that he realized that Gerard had been holding Frank's hair in the exact same way a few hours ago, when he kissed him on stage, in front of their bandmates and an overexcited crowd.

It wasn't the first time that it had happened, of course not, they had been playing this game for a long while, but it was Frank who almost always initiated things. He was the one that sat on Gerard's lap during interviews; the one that hovered around a little too close during shows and got on his knees for Gerard; the one who licked, kissed and nuzzled Gerard's face whenever and wherever he felt like it, and the one who made inappropriate comments about the two of them sleeping together, naked, when inappropriate questions were asked by the fans.

And it was mostly a game, a game where they got to mess with the homophobe assholes out there and to push each other boundaries except that, that night, Frank was the one who got messed up. He even had dropped his guitar and, fuck! He never had done that before. Never stop playing was one of the basic rules of the game and maybe the most important one during a show: you don't let yourself be affected by what the other person is doing and definitely, you don't stop playing no matter what, but he did, and maybe it was pretty obvious why.

That night it all had felt completely different, not only because of how it had happened, Gerard making the first move, acting bold and sexy, catching Frank off guard; but because, over the last month or so, Frank had slowly come to realize that this thing was not a simple case of undeniable and unavoidable sexual attraction, but that there was something else between them.

Frank had started thinking about that one day when he was trying to take a nap on the tour bus. He had been tossing and turning in his bunk for a long while, and despite the fact that he was exhausted, it was almost impossible for him to fall asleep after his mom had notified him that Lucy, his old, beloved, basset hound, had died earlier that morning.

Apart from the rumble of the road, Frank could hear the constant hiss of quiet conversation coming from the lounge and then the sound of footsteps getting closer. “Frank?” Gerard whispered from the aisle between the bunks. “Are you asleep?” “No,” Frank replied before pulling the curtains of his bunk open. He squinted a little at the light and lifted his head to face Gerard.

The other man studied him for a moment with an impassive expression before saying, “You've been very quiet all day, it's something bothering you?”

Frank sighed, long and strained. “Lucy died today”.

“Lucy? Your dog?” Gerard asked with big concerned eyes.

“Yeah, she was sick and too old; my mom had to make the decision of putting her down and...” Frank cringed a little at the thought, “I wasn't there, you know? To say goodbye”.

“Oh,” Gerard lowered his gaze and frowned, thoughtfully.

“Do you mind if I join you up there?” he said after a moment. Frank nodded and scooted to the side, making room for Gerard. After a little rustling and adjusting their limbs to fit in the reduced space of his bunk, they stayed in silence for a couple of minutes until Frank couldn't repress the need to justify himself any longer.

“I know that is lame to be grieving over a dead dog,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant and not turning to look at Gerard, “But every day, when I was back from school and alone in the house, she was the only one around and she always cheered me up, you know?”

“I know, Frankie, and it is not lame,” Gerard's voice was gentle as he spoke and he reached to grab one of Frank's hands. Frank turned to look at Gerard when he felt the other man twining their fingers together. They locked eyes for a moment until Gerard stared speaking again; this time he directed his gaze at the low ceiling of the bunk.

“When I was five, I had a hamster; I wasn't attached to it or anything, it... It had a really brief life”.

Frank frowned and he really didn't want to ask, but he had to, “Did you kill him?”

Gerard cringed. “I didn't mean to hurt him,” he said in a very high pitched voice that Frank identified as his defensive one.

“I just wanted to take its cage to my room and I dropped it from the bottom step of the stairs; the poor thing didn't resist the fall,” he huffed. “The thing is that after the hamster died, I cried non-stop for hours until my grandma came and told me this story about a place where all pets go when they die, you know? Like a pet's heaven. She told me that they stay there waiting for you”.

“Waiting for you,” Frank repeated under his breath and considered that for a moment.

“I know that it sounds like something that people come up with to make their children stop crying over a dead animal, and I'm not even sure that there's an afterlife, but...” Gerard added; he turned to look at Frank and squeezed his hand, “Maybe you will get a chance to see her again”.

Frank nodded faintly, “Maybe”.

He didn't know why this whole thing was affecting him so much, but after that he couldn't form more words, his chest was feeling too tight. He moved closer and placed his head on Gerard's shoulder, not only because he needed more contact, but because he wanted to hide his face for a moment since his eyes were prickly and he was sure that they were red with the tears that he was holding.

Gerard tipped his head, drew back his hand and used it to rub Frank's arm soothingly. Frank closed his eyes for a moment and they stayed like that in silence, until the lump in Frank's throat loosened enough for him to let out a little sigh. Gerard squeezed his arm.

“I really wanted to die that day, you know?”

Frank froze at Gerard's words. He knew that Gerard wasn't talking about dead pets anymore and Frank really didn't know what to say. They had never talked about Gerard's suicidal thoughts before, not because the topic never came up this past couple of years, but because Frank didn't know how to deal with that, with all the emotions that it brought up.

“Gee, that's...” Frank paused to reconsider what he was about to say, “We don't have to talk about that if you don't want to,” he offered, finally, and it wasn't really for Gerard, but mostly for himself.

“It's okay,” Gerard squeezed his arm lightly, “Now I can talk about that and know that everything's gonna be okay,” he added, sounding confident and hopeful and Frank felt relieved.

He didn't know what it would happen if Gerard had made the decision and had died back then; what had happened with the band and all, but he knew that it would have hurt beyond he could possibly imagine not only because he was his friend and his bandmate, but because it was Gerard and Frank was – his chest tightened at the realization–, because he was in love with him.

Frank was taken abruptly out of his thoughts as the van parked outside the hotel and Ray and Bob started jumping out of the vehicle as soon as it stopped moving. A few minutes later they all were waiting in the front office. While the other guys were huddled around the desk, Frank was standing against one of the side walls, the hood of his red hoodie covering his his head and with his hands tucked into his jeans pockets.

Once again he was staring at Gerard from the background just as he had been in the green room after the show, and from a bench in the park and from the back seat of the van, but Gerard was, as always, oblivious to it all. That made Frank feel a sudden flare of anger. How could Gerard be kissing him like that and then forgetting about the whole thing and just act as if nothing had happened? Frank clenched his fists tight inside his pockets. Maybe it was just that the whole thing wasn't relevant to Gerard; maybe for him it was still a little stupid game. Frank sighed and unclenched his hands.

Once that they all got their card keys, they started walking through the hall with their duffle bags on their shoulders and a tired expression on their faces that was momentarily hidden by the smiles that they exchanged every now and then as they spoke to each other.

Before getting in the elevator, Gerard turned to look back and caught Frank staring at him. Frank's heartbeat sped up a little when he saw the other man getting closer.

“Guys,” Gerard called as the elevator doors were closing. Ray held them with one hand and his foot and waited for Gerard to continue talking. Gerard leaned down and grabbed Frank's bag from his hand. “Can you take these, please; we're gonna go out to grab a smoke,” he said and handed both of their bags to Bob.

“Fine,” Bob replied warily and took the bags.

“Let's go,” Gerard said to Frank, putting one hand in the small of Frank's back as the doors of the elevator finally closed. Neither of them said anything else until they were outside standing, in the middle of the sidewalk.

“So...” Gerard trailed off and looked into Frank's eyes for a moment before continuing. “You've been acting weird”.

Frank huffed, “Yeah,” he bowed his head, his eyes went down and fixed on a little dark stain on the floor.

Now that they were alone, there was so many things that Frank wanted to say to Gerard, but he couldn't; he couldn't just blurt out “I'm in love with you,” just like that all, with no previous warning and completely out of place. He couldn't say it even when he had just come to realize it and his skin was thrumming with the need of letting Gerard know and finally knowing what he had to say to that.

“I don't think that we should kiss on stage anymore,” Frank said instead, as fast and quiet as he could muster so that Gerard was barely able to hear it. The other man's eyes went wide instantly.

“Okay, sure... But, um...” He faltered, visibly perturbed. “Why? Is this about Jamia? Are you guys getting back together?” he asked; the concern was obvious in the tone of his voice and in the way that his brows went high on his forehead.

“No,” Frank replied immediately, “It's not that, it's just that...” He let out a long gushing breath. He knew that he had to be clearer this time. “Gerard, you know that I like you, right?” Gerard blinked.

“Sure, I... I like you too, Frankie, you're an awesome guy,” he said, a little uncertain.

“No, Gee, I don't mean it like that,” Frank corrected, “But actually like you...” He snorted. “You know what? Saying that is such an understatement, Gee I...” Frank's eyes went up and, all of the sudden, a stream of words got stuck in his throat when he saw expectaction and the puzzlement, reflecting in the hazel of Gerard's eyes. He just couldn't hide what he felt anymore.

“I'm in love with you, Gee”.

“Oh,” Gerard gaped.

“When you kissed me tonight I realized that and I can keep doing this anymore unless you really mean it”.

“Oh” Gerard repeated, quieter than before. Frank waited about a minute for an answer; his heart pounding like crazy in his chest and his mouth dry out of nervousness, but Gerard just stared at him, speechless. Frank thought that that was it, right there, that was his answer.

He took a step back and was about to flee, feeling hurt and stupid, when Gerard caught his wrist and pulled him closer.

“Frank,” the other man muttered before reaching out to cup Frank's chin with one hand and sliding the other one around his waist.

This time the kiss was as earth-shattering as before, but quieter. This time there wasn't any music blasting in the background, or the screams of a frantic crowd, or the catcalls of their bandmates and techs whooping into the dead mic. This wasn't part of a show or a game; it was just the two of them, kissing softly in the middle of the night in some barely lit Street; Gerard moving his lips slowly against Frank's, sucking lightly as this lower lip while threading his fingers gently through the back of Frank's head and making little, throaty noises every time that their tongues met.

“I mean it,” Gerard said breathlessly once that they broke apart. He was speaking not more an inch away from Frank's mouth, so the latter could feel the other man's breath cooling the wet surface of his slightly swollen lips. “I really meant it”. Frank barely had time to register those words because Gerard started kissing his again, this time pressing Frank's body against the hard surface of a wall.

A few minutes later, Frank finally broke the kiss, gasping, his eyes still closed and feeling incredibly turned on.

“C'mon,” Gerard spoke again, pressing their foreheads together. “We have to go convince the guys to swap rooms so we can share tonight”. “Okay,” Frank replied with one breathless whisper. He opened his eyes fully and saw Gerard staring at him with intent. The other man bit his lip and stared some more before stepping back and grabbing his Frank's hand to lead him back to the hotel.

“Oh, and Frankie...” Gerard stopped walking just a couple of yards away from the entrance and drop Frank's hand only to take his own up and cup Frank's jaw with it. He kissed him again, slow and sweet and breathtaking before whispering into his ear, “I'm in love with you too”. Frank smiled to himself and hugged Gerard tight.

He knew that convincing Ray, Bob and Mikey of spending the night in one little room was going to be a tough task to accomplish, but he also knew that it was totally worth trying.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :D


End file.
